The Most Important Relationship Word
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
Stephen Covey
Almost every time I speak to a group of educators, I ask the question, “What is the most important relationship word?” Although several viable answers are offered, almost immediately, someone will suggest the word, “Trust.” Like most things in our noble profession, I am not sure there is a right answer, but I am sure that “Trust” is my answer. Whether we are talking about superintendent-principal, principal-teacher, teacher-student, husband-wife, parent-child, or friend-friend, the “essential ingredient” in the relationship, as Covey suggests, is trust. The people I have most admired and respected in my personal and professional lives have been people in whom I have complete trust.
This trust comes in many forms, but at its core is a calm and confident response of, “Yes” to the question, “Can I trust you?” This broad question can be broken down further, of course, when deciding whether we trust our colleagues. Here are but a few examples:
Can I trust you to do what you say you will do?
Can I trust that the decision you are making is based on what is best for kids?
Can I trust you when you say something will or will not work?
Can I trust you when you recommend someone to me for a position in our school or district?
Can I trust the feedback you are providing me?
Can I trust that the answer you are giving me is the same answer you are giving someone else?
Can I trust that you have the knowledge, skills, and capabilities to do what is needed in your role?
Can I trust your work ethic?
As educators, we are in the trust business. Our parents send us their most precious gifts and trust us to do what is right by them. Our students, in turn, trust that we have their best interests at heart. Our school culture is strengthened or weakened by the level of trust each staff member has in each other. What are some things we can do to create and maintain a community of trust? Many years ago, in our book, The 4 CORE Factors for School Success, Todd Whitaker and I shared the “Top 10 Trust Traits.” When teachers and administrators engage in these behaviors, those with whom we interact will more likely place their trust in us:
1. Be There
2. Show You Care
3. Provide Resources
4. Communicate Regularly
5. Involve Others
6. Celebrate Success
7. Value Diversity and Dissent
8. Support Innovation
9. Address Underperformance
10. Demonstrate Personal Integrity
I believe these traits hold true whether you are a classroom teacher or a school or district administrator. Which of the ten resonate most with you? Obviously, I consider each of these to be critically, and perhaps equally, important, but one of the ten seems just a bit different than the other nine. Many of these seem like positive and even “fun” things to do. Number 9, however, is not so fun, yet if we fail to do it, the students and staff we lead will no longer trust that what we said was important was really all that important after all. We must hold everyone--starting with ourselves--accountable for doing what we said we would do.
Many years ago at a small church I attended, I was charged with leading the children’s message each Sunday morning during the early service. There were typically only a few children at this service, one of whom was always my daughter, who was 3 or 4 years old at the time. One Sunday, in trying to drive home the point that we should trust in God, I told my daughter we would start the message with me throwing her through the air about 6 or 7 feet to Danny, a high school student I had taught and coached for several years, who would then catch her. Then and now, there is no one I love as dearly as I love my daughter, and I would never do anything to place her in harm’s way. Although this feat was not exactly a dangerous act, Danny was probably the only student I knew who I would have trusted to catch her. Everything I knew about him from years of working with him told me I could trust him to do the right thing in any instance--including catching my daughter when I tossed her his way. My daughter, however, had no such trust in Danny. When I told her what we were going to do, she was a bit nervous, but she agreed--not because she trusted Danny, but because she trusted me when I told her not to worry and assured her that Danny would catch her. Our little performance went off without a hitch, leading to the larger message we were trying to convey during the children’s message.
In our schools, trust can be contagious in a similar way. When principals trust superintendents, they, in turn, behave in ways that lead teachers to trust in them. When teachers trust their building administrators, they behave in ways that lead students to trust in them. Trust is indeed “the glue of life.” When we truly believe in each other, we ignite a culture of trust in our school communities, and nothing can stop us then. Behaving in ways that make others trust us and, in turn, trusting in others to do the same, is another way we create a positive and productive culture in our schools.
Thanks to all educators reading this for the amazing work you are doing during these challenging times. As always, Teach and Lead with Passion...
Jeff and Jimmy
DAILY INSPIRATION EDUCATOR
(Please let us know about an inspiring educator you think we should highlight in a future newsletter by completing this brief form!)
NEW RELEASE!
Daily Inspiration for Educators: Positive Thoughts for Every Day of the Year, Volume II by Jimmy Casas.
Due to the success of our first book of Daily Inspiration thoughts by Jimmy Casas, we are publishing Volume II, now in stock! Similar to the first volume, this book includes daily variations on the “Thoughts for the Day” Casas has shared over the past years. Also included are sayings found elsewhere, some of which are hundreds of years old and others found only recently, including quotes from other ConnectEDD books. The goal of this volume is that in some small way, these daily thoughts will provide hope, validation, and inspiration to some of the most inspiring people in the world: hard working education professionals. Serving as a professional educator is so important that we must commit to doing whatever it takes to ensure that every child achieves success each and every day we serve. It is noble work, indeed. But it is difficult work with many daily challenges and disappointments. Daily Inspiration for Educators can serve as a resource that motivates and inspires educators during times of joy as well as when things get tough--as we know they will periodically in a profession as important and challenging as ours. Now available and more info here!
NEW RELEASE!
(Kindle ebook edition now available) - Be the Flame: Sparking Positive Classroom Communities by Shane Saeed
Educators know that relationships and rapport are the most important foundational pieces to a successful classroom community. The hard part is knowing how to build those impactful relationships. How do you establish and maintain rapport? What activities can encourage teamwork? How do you continue to build community throughout the school year? In Be the Flame, teacher leader Shane Saeed details ideas and activities that spark positive classroom communities and create learning environments in which students can thrive. Be the Flame focuses on building communities in different areas of an educator’s professional realm:
Kindling rapport with students one-on-one,
Igniting a community among your students,
Catching support from the families of your students,
Fueling relationships with teammates and coworkers, and
Establishing an online community to spread ideas, learn, and grow.
In this book, you’ll learn how to become a “teacher flame” through community-building practices that can be implemented the very next day. From step-by-step directions for relationship building activities to easy-to-implement routines to encourage community and strengthen partnerships, this book is an elementary teacher’s guide to starting their classroom community from the first day of school. Teachers will learn not only how to build relationships with their students, but also with families and coworkers in order to cultivate a cohesive community of support. It takes a village to support students and create a safe space for them to learn and grow. It is our job, as educators, to build strong foundational relationships with students that will inspire them to achieve academically and become the best people they can be. Be the Flame in your classroom and spread your light to impact your students in a positive way!
After only one week in print, Be the Flame has become a huge bestseller on Amazon. See what everyone is talking about by checking our Shane’s new book, available here
CONNECTEDD’S TAKEAWAYS:
Thought for the Day: “Fanatic discipline is consistent, consecutive, performance. Don’t save your best efforts for the best conditions. Reach your goal every day regardless of conditions.” Jim Collins
Teaching Technique to Try: Iceberg Diagrams. The Iceberg Diagrams teaching strategy helps students gain awareness of the numerous underlying causes that give rise to an event. It’s often difficult for students to see these causes because they rest “beneath the surface.” The visual image of an iceberg helps students remember the importance of looking deeper than the surface in order to better understand events in the past or present. This strategy can be used as a way for students to organize their notes as they learn about a period in history, as a way to review material, or as an assessment tool. Check out this link from Facing History and Ourselves for a step-by-step process for using this technique.
Eyes On Culture: We believe that culture is a true difference maker in any classroom, school, district, or organization. As a result, we focus much of the work we do on creating and maintaining positive and productive cultures. Culture Focus: Confidence. High performing schools with strong cultures are places in which both adults and students are confident in their abilities and have confidence in each other. Perhaps the greatest single gift any staff member can give to a student they are teaching is the gift of confidence. As we often stress, our students’ belief in themselves is based largely on the extent to which we believe in them. Likewise, one of the greatest gifts administrators can give teachers is also the gift of confidence, letting them know--not only by their words, but also through their actions--that they believe in teachers’ abilities to accomplish the mission. They provide support as needed, but also autonomy to get the job done making the most of their unique talents and gifts. There are established non-negotiables in place for the collective whole, but individuals are encouraged to work within this framework while also allowing significant latitude in how the goals will be accomplished. In school cultures with confident kids and staff, both are more likely to take risks, embrace change, and achieve their dreams. Give the gift of confidence to the people you are serving this school year and continue to communicate these three critical messages:
The work we are doing is important.
You can do it.
I will not give up on you.
What are some ways we can instill confidence within students and staff? Please share your thoughts about culture via Twitter: @ConnectEDDBooks We would love to hear from you!